( private )

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( Ban )

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... weren't we still on a job? Or something. Eh, too tired right now. Wanna sleeeep...

( private )

I am so lost.

I went out to try and find Ban-chan, but now I don't know where I am. I guess I should pay more attention when I'm walking.

Ban-chan's probably still mad at me, so I can't even call him.

I wonder if I could get a pigeon to tell Shido where I am...

I called back to the Honky Tonk, hoping maybe Ban-chan was there, and found out I got a job to go somewhere and find a cock ring.

How am I supposed to find something I've never even heard of before?? And why is Akabane-san working with us? Maybe he's transporting it?

I don't get any of this.

I wish I knew where Ban-chan was.

It's been too long. I haven't heard from either Ban-chan or Akabane-san, and I'm really beginning to worry now. I don't want to think about it, but if this is really the end, I want to hear it from Ban-chan himself. It will hurt--no, it'll feel like a part of me will die. But it's better to know, right?

So I'm going to look for him myself. I really shouldn't have let Akabane go for me. I guess I was just too happy that someone would talk to Ban-chan. Or maybe I was too big a coward to go myself.

Well, sitting around waiting and being afraid hasn't gotten me anything. Time I quit being so scared. Well, I am scared of what he'll say. Still, I just... I gotta know.

So to the people who are paying us to keep these things, please don't stop paying Ban-chan if I don't post for a few days. I promise I'll do it when I come back.

If I come back.

Shido-kun, I never did find out what was going on. I hope it turns out okay. I'll try to come back and help if you need me to. Kazu-chan, look out for Shido, and yourself, okay? I don't know how long I'll be gone.

Wish me luck. I'm going to try and "get back" Ban-chan.

( <private> )

( <private entry> )

"Just do it," he said. "It's easy money," he said. You think I'd know by now. Two words Ban-chan loves to hear in the same sentence: easy and money.

But I don't know what to write!

Course he'd probably tell me to make something up, but that's lying a little to much, isn't it?

Okay, maybe I do have something to write, but I don't know if I should. I mean, will Ban-chan get mad if I talk about Shido-kun or Kazu-chan or MakubeX? Or will they read it and get mad if I talk about Ban-chan? (I know Shido has one, too. Madoka-chan and I kinda sorta begged on it.) I just don't want to cause any more fights. I still remember when I was in the hospital, though I don't know why Ban picked the fight in the first place. Well, I know why with Shido, but not with everyone else.

(Besides, I thought Kazu-chan looked pretty in that. Oops. I'm sorry, Kazu-chan! Um, pretend I never said anything.)

Ban-chan confuses me like that sometimes. He tells me I shouldn't forget my time with them. Then he fights with my friends. But then he still helps when they're in trouble. I don't understand. But I guess that's what makes him Ban-chan. Now if I could just get him and Shido to fight a little less.

Hevn-san warned me it was bad to tell Akabane-san about these things. I didn't think so. Besides, maybe he'll really, really like it. And then he'll forget all about me, I hope.

I hope MakubeX will get one, too. I don't get to visit as much as I want, so maybe we can still talk through these.

Well, if it does make us money, at least I know Ban-chan will be happy. Or happier than without money.